white frost and heart full of hot chocolate

A cup of coffee and some Christmas cookies whit Emily and her Big Big World as a background is a perfect end of a day. Day that started with mumbling over my alarm, a headache and no understanding of why on earth I am so tired if went to bed at ten turned out to be a very good one. I did so much and things just went… It was a pleasant change after my two bad day session from which Friday was a definite ‘left leg out of bed’ day.

I had to turn my works around and start with clipping instead of box cleaning. I managed to clip two horses which is the biggest and most satisfying work of the day. My little striver was striver with the big s! He left me speechless by standing so still and nice while I was clipping. I remembered the last year, when he was more of seaweed than anything else (and I wasn’t even clipping the legs). I am so proud of him.

All day long there were people but nobody seemed to get in my way of doing things and it was quite relaxing. I started to teach my baby horses to stand with the blankets. They are growing up- few weeks from now they will be clipped and wrapped up in blankets, shivering when the cold November wind will caught them unprotected. So much done today and so much to do- the never ending story. But it sets a rest in my soul. I still remember a simple picture from a book somebody gave me on my graduation ceremony in middle school with hot-air balloons and a quote that was something like: “Always dream big, set your aims high so you will always have something to live for, to work for” Humans biggest fear is to stop dreaming and reach their aim that wasn’t that high and have nothing left. I fear the day All my dreams come true- my life will end. That’s why I choose things that can always be brought further ahead. And just like that day I still everyday thank God for so much to do. It is a blessing.

Meline’s third place with Tara on the Medium tour broke the ice between us that was there after my ‘bit’ mistake. Can’t say I blamed her for her modesty still feel a little guilty. But the good news is that we needed that second bit and I don’t make so many mistakes after all.

Going back to my Christmas cookies every year around this time I dream about Christmas, for some reason this is the time when I feel Christmas and long for them. In mornings when it is still icy cold and ground is covered with white frost I feel warm from the inside. I impersonate all those emotions people have during Christmas and I never have. ( I even watched a Christmas movie last week!) As always my timing is impeccable.

I got my new ‘bible’- Roget’s A-Z Thesaurus. I just can’t get any geekier! I am starting to slowly accept myself as a writer or truth is told- struggling writer to be! Now we have to see what the rest of the world will think about that!

1. September

So last week our two 4 year old had their 1. September- their first show! When we were there I shared a lot of different feelings.

Young horses are like little children- you take extra care and love for them, you teach and try your best to make a "perfect horse- partner" When they arrive they are so small, so green: they don't give legs, they can't stand still, they are afraid of jumps, no water from pipe and so on. Day by day- they learn and grow - wiser, stronger- they grow into a horse. I have seen this so many times but still feel the same. I am so proud of them when they behave and stand still, jump everything, they look so different they have grown up without you even realizing that.

I also feel sad. it is like they have their own lives now, and you no longer play such a n important role. You have to slowly let them go. There is not much I can teach them anymore as a groom, the rest lays on riders shoulders. But the beginning belongs to me.

Luck for me I still have one kinder gardener. Who I left with the rider a lone for the first time in the begging of September and felt like I am leaving my baby with Nanny for the first time, kept checking my phone every few minutes. O we parents... And thats what we are:)