Voyage

Dear Diary,

I didn't sleep well, had some sort of dream concerning blogging and my sister. Of course, I woke up with a headache. It was early enough to still manage to hate my next door neighbor for sleeping trough her awful alarm. Small pieces of a conversation came back to my mind. I took my phone- had to check! Yeah, my dream wasn't really a dream. Indeed my sister called me late last night; Don't worry I got back to her by calling 6 a. m. ( I devil in me cheered when I woke her up) Anyway the message was something like: "You should write a blog, I want to read something!"
It is funny 'cose yesterday I already wrote a post on my other blog. And yeah once again I haven't wrote for a while. I needed to get trough some things.
I've been wondering all day what it is I'm writing about, since it is and isn't about horses. And here is what I got:
On June 16, 2010 I took a flight to Brussels. That is where my journey started. Almost all of you have heard about backpack travels or at least watched "In to the Wild" ( I have to confess I saw it only few days ago). These kind of travels change you inside out, you meet people along the way and it is priceless, you learn something new. So this is what it is- my own ultimate backpack travel. A journey towards something I'm not sure about yet. I'll probably know it when i get there but why grooming diaries? Simple- my travel walks hand in hand with horses. It is a way how I travel around the world.
So maybe this is for those who longs to put themselves trough this kind of emotional, spiritual and sometimes mind wrecking journey! Or it is for those who have walked this path before and now sees the similarities. Or maybe you are horse lover to whom this is a lifestyle but who ever you are, I hope you like it and you will gain something from this.
Because my journay is not over... Not just yet:)

Bear with me!
 Emily (Zane)


Photo:Linda M

Perfect matches

Dear Diary,

I was thinking about matchmaking today. In equine world there are many different combinations of matches. The rider and horse, the boss and employee, Groom and rider. We all want to find that perfect horse where it just goes. Frankly it doesn’t always happen therefore we have adapted- we have learned to do it anyway and somehow find a way. I’m not saying we shouldn’t but some pairs work together better than others and thank God for that otherwise we wouldn’t have marriages. What I’m trying to say is that this matchmaking goes pretty much for everything.

I have groomed for few riders and I have seen my fare share of horses to know that no matter how good you are there are couples who beats the forces of nature. What one can do easily other can’t. It reminds me of two young geldings we had few years ago when I still owned my horse and from time to time helped out my trainer. My trainer couldn’t put anything on one of them when I never ever had a problem and it went otherwise with the other gelding. I don’t think I remember one time I could get a head collar on that horses head- my trainer had no problems.

Today I was thinking how easy it goes for me today with my rider. Weather it is a perfect match or he is simply easy going and no one have any problem remains a mystery. But I know that I’m glad to enjoy it and I’m starting to get thirsty to get to some shows. I feel rested and waked up from the winter’s sleep.

And now you: What perfect matches have life handed for you? Has there ever been a horse only you can do something with for no good reason? A rider, maybe?
Picture of The Red cat (a.k.a.Garfield) at my old workplace;)

Emily

We are family!

So this weekend is the Open day in Helgstrand dressage. For the last three days we have been scrubbing, washing and cleaning. We have gone trough to all the possible stages that a team can go through on its way to a big event that’s been held at home. I know it because it isn’t the first for me. With a different set of people I have went through endless hours of painting and cleaning and even flower bedding (And if you think that it is funny think twice I hated flowers for weeks). These kinds of events really bring people together- mold the team. Today I realized that I have the opportunity to work with one of the best teams in top level stables and see past the Professional veneer. Today everything was working like a ticking clock. I’m truly amazed- we are a more than a team- we are a family! :) 

Never the same!

Dear diary,

I have been taking care of Lote’s Happy Luiss for this week. Yesterday we had this awesome two hour walk in the forest. Today I just jumped on my rider’s private 3 year old he hasn’t ridden outside once and I dared to walk Happy alone on the field with long reins. I know for most of folk’s it might sound ridiculous. But when you have had this really bad experience with one horse and then wrapped yourself up in a cocoon where playing safe dominates it is a big deal. I felt like myself again the person who could jump up on all kinds of stupid horses and just do what was supposed to be done.

This journey abroad has given me an opportunity to deal with the past’s skeletons, to overcome some of my fears. Now I feel like the last step to a fool recovery could be my riding. During the last few years saying no have became more and more easy. Being afraid is a lot easier. Playing safe too. But the trick is that you miss out on so much.

Today we walked with Lote and one of her sentences got to me. After my black gelding and our failures I will never be the same. „But you shouldn’t be the same!” That’s what Lote told me. So simple. It got me thinking. Life doesn’t happen to give you an opportunity for no reason. I never really got over thinking that changing my mare for my black gelding was a big mistake. I don’t regret it but it was a mistake. What if it wasn’t? What if this experience had to change me in this drastic way and I’m yet to discover all it has brought to me.

I would like to say that it have made me stronger when indeed I felt more scared than ever. Maybe the whole point is to reconstruct my confidence, my feeling on the horse. Maybe this baby step that comes in my way is a way of really getting up. And my desperate attempts to be who I was before that is pointless because I shouldn’t be the same anymore. The movie Soul surfer comes to my mind. The girl so desperately focused on the fact that she will never be the same that she couldn’t see from the beginning that she doesn’t have to. Instead she had an opportunity to do things differently and embrace more people with her one arm that she could ever had with two.

I didn’t lose an arm, I lost my confidence. And I will never be the same! And for the first time in a very long time I think it is a good thing! :)  

In photo: Me and Happy!

One step at the time...

Dear diary,
So I just finished my second assaignment for school. The task was to write a feature based on the magazine I was analyzing. So I desided to write about something I know really well and people haven't really talked about- therefore work abroad.
I have been living and working as a groom outside my home country for nearly 2 years. And I wonder what happens in our heads? There is a wide set of emotions we get to go through every day. What is the difference between me back in 2010 and me today?
2 years ago I was that shy girl who get to be tossed around in the stables and not fully trusted. I slaved my ass off. I spend 2 long months patiently keeping my mouth shut. Grooming then was everything I imagined it NOT to be. Now imagine my dissapointment! But I wasn't to give up.
People sometimes think it is so much different from riding when in reality apple doesn't fall far from the three. Groom has to build his competence and knowlage one step at a time. We have to be patient and we have to take care of everything. I used to think everybody can be a groom but it is far from truth. Today I have worked my way up to a top level stable. And only now I understand that just like your horse wont jump 1.40 m straight away or won't be able to make flying changes on two temps in a split second you wount be trusted and coun't as a professional. You will have to work your ass off. The same way we all do. And there will be sucrifacies But note that in the end it all just pays off.
So I'm good to go and have a nice walk with Happy!:)

well hidden desires...

Dear Diary,

I’ve been a little bit fallen off the map and for that I’m really sorry but this week has been sucking the life out of me. With a little to sleep and the third week passing by without a weekend off- I was quite lifeless. My best friend basically bagged me to go hacking with her at the weekend for three days. I wasn’t sure. So it just happened that I also could go on Friday to walk around with a very nice semi-sized mare. With three and a half months without riding, more than 1 and a half year not hacking and been in dressage saddle only few times- I felt like losing my virginity- awkward, inexperienced and little bit painful.

Today still not sure if it is such a good idea to go hacking into the woods I crawled up on the same sweet horse. I felt better. I hadn’t been riding together with my best friend since my first year in Denmark and we used to ride together every day. It was fun but when we got into the woods. I remembered- the feeling well hidden in the back on my mind. I remembered how much I love riding and hacking. My legs still tried to adjust but my body and mind relaxed with every step. So, that’s what I have been missing out!

And now I feel like the life had got into me, like I’m back in the horse world again, because to be honest I kind a put myself more in my writing world than in my horse world. And that just might give me the perfect scene in my book „The way back home!”

Hopefully it will be good enough to see daylight one day..!

Cheers and I wish you all the best times with your horses!:)

Photo my ex- horse. Photo by linda m photography...

Longings...

Dear Grooms diary,

There have been some changes in my life. Well, for starters I have moved across Denmark. Yup that’s right- me, my best friend 4 enormously big suitcases and 5 hour trip in train. That was after I had my 1 week vacation back in Latvia which is a whole different story from todays. Today I want to talk about longings. And by the way I’m grooming for dressage now.

I was excited to try something new. My excitement lasted only for few weeks since I realized that grooming for dressage is pretty much the same as show jumping, however, I did learned some new things and I keep doing that. What is different? It is much higher attitude towards horses and your work, there are a lot more horses and lot more to think and take care of. Horses come and go. Team stays consistent which is something different from what I had seen working in Belgium. I like it.

The story today is about longings for your own horse. Since this temptation to have one again takes me over more often. When I was 16 I wanted a horse so badly that I would do anything to get it and despite my father’s protests I saved up money and I got my horse and all the responsibility and troubles that came within. I shared some fantastic moments and it is an experience I will savor forever and I do not regret. But I will not argue that my desidions made life so much harder and heartache richer. So here comes what I have learned:

1.       Do think about money! Horse takes a lot of it. When I was a kid I saw it simple- hardest is to buy a horse, but that is not quite true. Bills you will get for stabling, extra food, blacksmiths, competitions and the worst of all vets can become a life sucking monster. The best way to know it- if you can afford this fantastic creature is to calculate your maximum expanses and then add a 100. This amount you should have on all times just for your horse. I’m telling this based on fact that there are horses that needs a lot of extra food or vet checks and if you cannot provide it you might end up in big heartache when your beloved animal is skinny, unhappy and worst of all unhealthy.

2.       Be sure you have the time. Time is essential since your own horse is like your child – it needs attention, care, daily ridings and paddock time. It would be sad if one day you realize that someone else is riding your horse more than you for lack of time and you end up paying for it. Is it really worth it? 

3.       The last but not least important thing would be making sure you by the horse you need. The biggest mistake I did when I bought my first horse was I had no clue what I really wanted and frankly neither did I care as long as it was my own horse. I ended up with a young hobby horse, when in reality I needed an experienced competition partner. Be wise- choose good!

4.       BE sure you have an Access to a trainer. Maybe you feel experienced enough but the truth is that everyone needs a trainer once in a while. Unlimited access can help you towards your goals.

                                                                                                                         

There are more on theme „owning a horse” but these are things I remind myself whenever I’m eager to jump pin this train again. I will one day first I have to stand on my two feet, have my own place, consistent income and time for my partner.

So tomorrow I’m going to see what the buzz around Herning stallion show is.http://www.danishwarmblood.org Make sure to check out next week how it went!